Food? Food, food.

“I feel personally attacked right now.”

“Food?”

“Not now Brian,” Mara snapped. “Haven’t you felt it too? It’s as though the whole world is against us. Why, just the other day I saw Jane, Jane of anybody, fall right off her perch. Dead as a door-nail she was! And you know she tried to eat healthily, watched her ‘carbohydrate intake’ and everything.”

“Food?” Brian chirped.

“Wasn’t she on one of them diets? You know, the one she saw in that magazine the other week. Heaven knows where she found the thing, but she swore by it. Dreadful things they are, full of such bizarre theories.” Mara released a long, drawn out sigh. “But as I was saying, I feel attacked Brian. Brian! Damn it, are you listening to me!”

“Food!”

“Christ, Brian, do you have a second brain cell in that hollow head of yours?” Mara shook her head, knowing Brian wouldn’t care whatever she said. She itched at the small, intricate garment she had fastened tightly to her leg and stared out to the rolling waves of the ocean rolling before their beach.

“Nothing is going right for us, Brian. Times are getting too rough, for everyone. Even Judy can’t take care of her young ones anymore, so she’s had to drop them off to their half-uncle in the city. I hear he’s a different sort, prefers to waddle around everywhere, thinks he’s one of ‘them’. Bit of a weirdo if you ask me.

“But, you know what, screw the world! I don’t deserve to take their crap! I’m going to go off, find my own place to nest! A new place, with new beaches, lovely couples around I can mingle with! Maybe I can- maybe…” Mara slowly trailed off, before bowing her head, its weight suddenly feeling incredibly heavy. “Oh, who am I kidding? I can’t even get away from you.”

“Food?”

“Shut up, Brian.”


Alan curiously watched the two seagulls that stood on the wet sand of the beach. One looked out at the lulling waves that rolled up to it, one of its webbed feet stuck in what appeared to be a set of plastic rings once intended for a six pack. He had never seen such a melancholy bird before, and couldn’t help but wonder at what it thought.

The second gull, on the other hand, just squawked a loud, irritating shriek at anything that moved. Birds are weird.

Photo by Phil Botha on Unsplash

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